RSS Feed

Monthly Archives: June 2012

Whence comes the clutter?

I’m on a clutter-busting mission.

And I have Shakespeare in my head.

‘Strange bedfellows’ you might be thinking. Or not…since that phrase is yet another darn bit from some Shakespeare play. Well, some of us are cursed blessed with bits and pieces of long ago memorized paragraphs of literature that come shooting across our mental bow at weird times. And, my dear friends, Romans, countrymen who are lending me your ear…you know who you are.

OK. The anti-clutter/Shakespeare mashup:

To be, or not to be, that is the question:
Whether ’tis Nobler in the mind to suffer
The slings and arrows of outrageous disorganization,
Or to take arms against a sea of clutter,
And by opposing… end them.

I choose to BE

So it’s time I take arms against the sea of clutter. I’m tired of the slings and arrows raining down on my parade. Not to mention, my head.

My first step is identifying. I’m starting a list and will be adding to it periodically.

I invite you to feel free to contribute your own entries to the pile.  With or without any Shakespeare.  I’m planning to eventually host a virtual bonfire with the discards so they don’t lay around and re-clutter.

In no particular order, some of the things that are cluttering my “space” are…

* paper. Any time two sheets of paper gather in my girl cave, unchaperoned?…they immediately slip away and multiply like rabbits. Receipts. Recipes. Warranties. Marriage memorandums. Etc. Kept out of worry I’ll “need it some day.”

* “I should ___________” thoughts.   These are the really ridiculous shoulds that I’m only going to be able to pull off in a perfect world, when the moon is permanently blue and we’re all enjoying ice skating on frozen-over hell.

* the whatchamacallit, gotta-give-this-to-so-and-so items, sprung from good intentions, that have found a home by my door

* “They shouldn’t be doing that” thoughts.  They are doing it; I’m only responsible for what I’m doing.

* food that I shouldn’t have bought, but now feel guilty about throwing out. Toss. Don’t buy again.

* gifts for people I didn’t really want to buy, bought anyway, and then didn’t get around to mailing

* gifts I’ve received that aren’t ’me,’ that don’t fit, or that I don’t use on a regular basis

* pine cones. bags of collected pine cones. I grew up tree-deprived and have been trying to make up for it ever since. They’re not going to turn into peanut butter and bird seed slathered bird feeders; I need to release them back into nature.

* “I’m too ___ for that” thoughts. [inserting various adjectives such as old, frumpy, unskilled, uber-responsible or "proper" ].   I. am. not.

<dusting off my hands> Well…that’s a start!

From whence comes your clutter?

Soul petrol

Returning home from my daughter’s wedding early last week,  my car nearly coasted in to the gas station on fumes. This was kind of surprising, seeing as how I’m usually a person who fills the tank when it falls below half.

The next day, however, I realized that my personal “gas tank” was as low or lower than this gauge.  I hadn’t anticipated this. I chalked it up to tiredness and figured I’d be fine the following day.

The wedding was wonderful.  My daughter made a very beautiful bride (even if I am biased), and my son in law was as handsome as they come. The venue was breathtaking…the weather was picture perfect. Even her parents’ divorce didn’t dampen the moment. With the ink on our decree less than six months old, my ex husband and I got along very well. All of his siblings came and they were respectful, even inclusive.

I had all three of my children…healthy, happy, and in one place, at one time…our family and friends all gathered together with us. The whole setting was the stuff of dreams…how blessed I was to get to see my daughter’s dreams coming true.

Everything had gone really well. And yet…afterwards… still, here I was, motivation, energy, enthusiasm… all pegged, on “empty.” The grey, the numbness was palpable.

I told myself this was normal. I called a couple friends. I sat down and tried to write out what I was feeling. I tried a funny movie. It wasn’t funny. I tried favorite music; I felt nothing. For a couple days, I indulged in my tried and true carb-laden comfort foods. None of these things worked.

In the end, instead of desperatly continuing to figure a way to fill myself up I, instead, surrendered. I emptied my tank even further, choosing to have a long cry. I can’t tell you why the tears, I just know they were necessary.

My dog gave up her preferred spot to hop up on my bed and glue herself to me, all night. If I opened my eyes, she opened hers, lifted her head slightly and stared at me until I closed them again.

In the morning, I figured I owed her a longer walk. There was a plume of smoke rising, in the distance, from a brush fire.  I sent an ‘arrow prayer’ up that it might be contained quickly. “Wow, the sky is really blue,” flitted across my mind.

Walking. Breathing in slowly…and exhaling slowly. Feeling the warm sun on my arms. Watching my dog excitedly zig zag back and forth on our walk.

There it was. I could almost hear it.   ….the switch.

The ‘little things’ started registering again. The refilling has started.

Follow

Get every new post delivered to your Inbox.

Join 29 other followers

%d bloggers like this: