Category Archives: journal

* a departure, of sorts, from my usual musings…this post has spiritual/religious overtones. be forewarned ♥

I think my dog is brilliant. I am quite certain that had she been employed as a rescue dog or drug sniffing dog  she would have gone really far. As it was, she was called to a different life… that of rescuing my family. Or, that is what she’s done thus far. I’ll confess that there exists a part of my brain where I entertain the notion that, once Keeva settles down some more (she’s ten but thinks she’s only three), she may yet become one heckuva therapy dog, helping comfort and uplift the elderly. And, contrary to my kids’ definition in this instance, I’m meaning more ‘elderly’ than myself.

One of the more functional things I’ve taught Keeva is to physically respond to my saying “other way”  when we are out walking. I can say it in a gentle way, a matter of fact way - there is never a need to yell or scold.  I say this to her when we are walking along and I go one way and she goes the other way …around a tree, lightpost, bush, or fire hydrant.  Sometimes she notices this herself and corrects, but when she doesn’t, I just say “other way” and she turns around and comes back around the object to join me. I don’t ever take this for granted and I praise her each time.

Friends have long commented that Keeva is one really smart dog because their dogs, and other dogs they’ve known, have never learned this particular feat. I haven’t weighed out, in my mind, whether this is mainly intelligence, whether it is just from repetitive puppy training – or, probably the most likely answer, that it is the combination of both.

Lately the practicality and the impact of this useful response has been reverberating inside me. I see the application in terms of my own life… in terms of who I perceive God to be.  I have been going through a series of life experiences in the past two years, particularly marital separation, divorce and the loss of a parent, that have resulted in transition, a new awakening.  I have begun looking at life with what feels like just-opened eyes, seeing new and previously unexplored opportunities around me, before me. I am, for the first time in thirty years, unfettered and completely free to choose for myself. And I am, slowly but surely, losing fear and guilt and empowering myself to explore my environment with confidence, with enthusiasm, and with an open mind.

My faith is one of the areas I’ve begun to explore with more freedom, more confidence. I have stopped looking heavenward, fearing a direct and immediate lightening strike, when I have dared to touch my toe outside of the very traditional religious ‘box’ in which I have lived. This has been frustrating to some of my family and friends. They love living in the box. They know, without question, that the box is where I need to be. But I know, deep down, I must continue this exploration. Letting loose of that fear has been work…and my pace is sometimes at barely a crawl. But I’ve had some amazingly refreshing, soul-comforting conversations with God….my Source, my higher power,  in ways I never have before. I’ve griped. I’ve cried. I’ve questioned. I’ve thanked him for this beautiful world. I’ve meditated. I’ve sang to him. And time and time again, I’ve asked him to be with me, to continue to give me confidence to expand my understanding, to continue growing my acceptance and peace.

Last week, making a decision during a particularly stressful time, I began leaning on my old instincts. And it was then that I clearly heard God say, lovingly and without judgment…  “other way.”  There was no feared lightening strike. And there were no heralding trumpets, either. There was just peace. It was the awareness that I am walking the path I need to be walking. And the comforting knowledge that even if I don’t see I’m heading off that path… I can trust that if I am open, if I am listening, I will absolutely hear “other way.”