I empathize with the character of Sheldon in the TV show, “Big Bang Theory.” Yes, I pretend to laugh at the show’s other characters and to enjoy the plot lines. But, the truth is… I really empathize with Sheldon. If you’ve not seen the show, trust me, the character is …a character.
In actuality, however, Sheldon is just being himself. He’s not trying to be… trying.
I wish it were Sheldon’s intellect with which I (could in my wildest dreams) identify…but, unfortunately, it’s his OCD traits, instead. They drive him — or rather they drive his friends — nearly crazy. Yep! Been there, done that. :-(
So. I accidentally hit “publish” on my previous post, before I intended to publish. I had not proofed the post for the third time (or eighteenth? I can’t remember). I had definitely not proofed it to the “Nth degree” as my dad would sometimes say. My dad, you see, was kind of a Sheldon, too.
After publishing, I reread my post. As I started reading, 3 errors immediately leaped out at me.
And. they. are. driving. me … absolutely crazy. It’s an itch that starts to spread, consuming like a raging wildfire… taking over every thought. A voice starts chanting, “I can’t stand it!!!! I can’t stand it!!!! I can’t stand it!!!!”
But, I can.
And, I will.
I’m going to intentionally let them be. That may not make sense to anyone else out there but me. But I’m trying HARD to learn the places, the activities, the times when I need to let ‘good enough’ be… enough.
Perfectionism. OCD. Call it what you will. It inhibits productivity. Beyond that, it demolishes self esteem, it steals away joy …it obliterates internal peace.
To any of you reading this, those of you who similarly struggle… my heart is with you. I think there are a LOT of us out there, suffering the same. And, very often, causing others to suffer, right along with us.
So, I say with each baby step we take towards breaking free of the old “tapes” playing in our heads, we lift our glasses and say, clearly and proudly to ourselves, in the mirror:
I do the best that I can. And that is good enough.